Brenda Schinke

Archive for March, 2008

27
Mar

Secrets of Super-Happy Couples

 

Twelve ways to keep your relationship thriving.

Smart Strategies

Why do some couples seem so head-over-heels? It’s not that their lives are any easier or more perfect than yours– but they do know how to keep the daily grind from eroding their relationship. Get some of what they have by incorporating these happy-couple strategies into your love life.

1. Fall in love all over again. Make a conscious decision to be in love. The more you act as if you are in love, the more you will feel like you are.

2. Remember the good times. Treat your partner like you did at the beginning of your relationship. Make a list of all the things you used to enjoy doing together and add any new fantasies to the list. Plan for them and make them happen.

3. Help your partner feel more loved and secure in your love so that he or she can open up to you and express feelings and ideas without fear of being attacked or judged. Compliment, praise, give a hug. Small gestures make the grandest statements.

4. Don’t make unilateral decisions. You’re a team in many ways, so act like one. Check in and make decisions together about things large and small. Be willing to compromise.

5. Be present. Train your mind to stay in the moment — not at work, thinking about the new color you want to paint your kitchen, or how it’s time to take the dog to the vet.

6. Pay attention to your physical appearance. Take the time to stay in shape and look good for each other. It does matter.

7. Boost your compatibility. Couples in crisis focus on all the ways they are different, whereas those who are in love zero in on their similarities and think their differences are cute. Build compatibility by taking turns planning activities to do together. If you don’t like your partner’s choice, don’t complain; it’s your turn next.

8. Do not place blame. Replace blame and criticism with solutions and tenderness. Problem-solve together — sit close, hold hands, touch each other’s face or hair. Be playful. When was the last time you laughed together? Rent a comedy movie to tickle your funny bone.

9. Plan for sex. Spontaneity is great but smart couples know that good sex doesn’t just happen. Like everything else, it takes time and planning.

10. Fact-find — don’t mind-read. You may think you know but you can’t assume. You may believe he should know, but that’s not fair, either. Always clear up misinterpretations and misunderstandings to make sure they don’t throw you both off course.

11. Fight fair — and by appointment only. Schedule a limited time to discuss a problem and confine your comments to that issue only. It’s easier to relax and feel free to enjoy each other when you know you won’t be ambushed by a litany of complaints and criticisms.

12. Prepare for checkouts. Even in the closest marriage, everyone needs time alone. Don’t take it personally and don’t make each other feel guilty if you need to spiritually and emotionally regroup. Just be sure to tell each other when you are checking out (max, one day) — and when you’re checking back in.

From the Ladies Home Journal Website, 1/9/06

Until next time,
Brenda

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07
Mar

Contribution Recommendations

Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA)

In 1977, a Seattle judge conceived the idea of using trained community volunteers to speak for the best interests of abused and neglected children in court. So successful was this program that soon judges across the country began utilizing citizen advocates. In 1990, the US Congress encouraged the expansion of CASA programs with passage of the Victims of Child Abuse Act.

Today, CASA has grown to a network of more than 50,000 volunteers that serve 225,000 abused and neglected children through 900+ local program offices nationwide. Advocates, also known as volunteer guardians ad litem in some jurisdictions, are appointed members of the court. Judges rely on the information these trusted advocates present.

The mission of the CASA Association is, that together with its state and local members, is to support and promote court-appointed volunteer advocacy for abused and neglected children so that they can thrive in safe, permanent homes.

Learn more at CASA’s website here: http://www.nationalcasa.org/

 

Emergency Animal Rescue

Emergency Animal Rescue is a non-profit 501 (c)(3) corporation founded in April of 1993. Based in San Diego California, the organization specializes in the actual physical rescue of animals that are in life threatening situations.

It didn’t take long for the public to start utilizing the Emergency Animal Rescue. In early 1994, they were summond to Los Angeles to assist in animal rescues during the Northridge earthquake, Then again in October of 1996, they flew to Texas to rescue animals in the floods in Conroe and Liberty. And again in our the Harmony Grove fire, the Viejas fire, the Pines fire and most recently, the Cedar fire. The Emergency Animal Rescue came through with the help of friends and neighbors, rescuing hundreds of animals, holding them in our receiving areas, and then returning every single one of them back to their rightful owners. They also just returned a Swift Water rescue team from New Orleans after an 11-day mission in the devastation of Hurricane Katrina where they rescued over 400 animals from the floodwaters.

Learn more at the Emergency Animal Rescues’ website here: http://emergencyanimalrescue.org/

Until next time,
Brenda

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07
Mar

March 2008

My friend was commenting over lunch about being in such a dilemma.  Crazy things have been happening to her lately and finally it came to a head.  People she thought were professional business associates were just using and abusing her good nature.  As we talked about the situations she said it doesn’t matter, it’s March 4th.  I said what does that mean.  She said don’t you see the significance.  March FORTH.  How great is it that she has chosen to move forward instead of doing the poor me.

Together we created a plan of action.  The first thing she did was to grab a notebook and jot down EVERYTHING that she needed to do.  Second, we prioritized; scheduled and set up a plan of action, since she was focused on marching forward and the things she needed to do in order to make it happen. 

1.  What is one thing in my life that I choose to move forward on?

2.  What is my plan of action and when will I create it by?

3.  How will I celebrate my decision to move forward?

Until next time,
Brenda

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