Brenda Schinke

A dear colleague of mine said, "The key to Being in all relationships is the relationship that you have with yourself and recognizing that all other relationships are really simply a mirror for you."

The great news about this is that most of us are clear (at some level) that we REALLY can’t change another person AND we can do something about ourselves.

This requires a few simple questions:

1) What words would you describe when you have an ideal relationship with someone?

2) Using those same words are YOU that person on a daily basis?

3) Which of those words could you practice being to become your ideal person?

Until next time,
Brenda

I ran across this great column titled: “LIFE, ISN’T THIS GREAT”. It’s written by Regina Brett who is 90 years old (The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio):

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written."

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17 Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone for everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s,we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift."

Until next time,
Brenda

Whether you answer a phone call or schedule some time to share with someone, be it a cup of coffee or even a date, how do you prepare to be with someone? I find the times that I actually focus on my outcome for connecting with an individual or a group I definitely get a different result.

People talk about not having enough time, yet they spend time with friends and family and go on autopilot. So why are you wasting precious time? Why does anybody? Enjoy the time you have chosen to share with someone.

1) Decide on the outcome for your interaction. (ex: Make someone feel special; share your world with them; catch up on your day both good and not-so-good)

2) Put aside everything on your mind and be with the individual(s). This may mean you make a list of what’s on your mind so you know you can come back to it after your connection time.

3) Pull yourself together and be present. Take everything one day at a time; one hour at a time; minute by minute. Time, like life, is precious.

Until next time,
Brenda
 

Simple quotes take up so little space yet they say so much.

One of Carl Jung’s quotes “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Another way I have heard this said is “When you point a finger at someone your other three fingers are pointing back at you.”

I have found the statements above to be frustrating albeit true. If I have upset with someone (I am now pointing a finger) and I look at what the upset is and how I played a role in the upset I see (three fingers pointing back at me) that my real upset is not with them but with myself. Usually, I find I could have done something different; said/and or not said something; or I had an unexpected expectation from that individual. What I mean by the last statement is I expected them to say or perform in a certain way; however, I never had that communication with them.

The great thing about this is that I have minimized my upset by being accountable for the situation.

1)    Think of a time (either current or past) where you have been in upset with someone.
2)    What did you believe they did to cause your upset?
3)    What will you do differently in the future?
4)    How do you feel differently about the situation?

Until Next Time,
Brenda